The following is what I call a "true story." My hope is that by creating a dialogue between "regular Kioka" and "coach Kioka," the reader will feel empowered to embrace her/his own authenticity with clarity and confidence. As a bonus, you get a minuscule peek into what an actual coaching session can look like. Enjoy!
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Kioka says:
As I type this right now, it is 1:27 in the morning, April Fools Day 2014 (4/1/14). I can't sleep because I am feeling a sense of complete overwhelm. The last few days have been somewhat torturous - it almost feels like I have no foundation, no sense of peace.
The reasons for my state of mind are completely understandable, once I get down to the basic facts. What are those facts? Essentially, everywhere I look in my life, I have lost security. I literally do not have any foundation. Yes, I created most of my circumstance but seriously? Must everything be up in the air?
The facts that support my contention:
- I left my job and started a business in 2012. Launching this labor of love has been more roller coaster than I would have ever imagined, with ups and downs and plenty of fast-paced riding in between. While the vision for kiokacoaching is clearer than ever, the implementation is just as confusing and muddy as ever. I am all about continuous development - I am a coach after all. But this is a bit much!
- I declared 2014 my year to find true love and partnership. The journey in itself is at once a mystery and a production. I know about lots of things - men and romance are not any of those things.
- My greatest support and cheerleader, my mom, was diagnosed with an unbelievably devastating condition - thereby rocking my world and testing every faith I have ever known. It is inconceivable to me that I, or my dad or anyone else, would have to face life without my healthy and whole mother.
How bold should I be in sharing this? As a life and career coach who is supposed to have it all together, how do I tell the world that sometimes life knocks me down too? Sometimes I don't know where I should turn or to what I should put my attention on? Do I put my own career, vision and livelihood in jeopardy by exposing my deepest fears? And how do I get up in the morning?
Kioka from kiokacoaching replies:
So you are having a rough few days. Yes, I acknowledge that you have a lot going on. Anyone in your shoes may feel desperate to find grounding somewhere.
You have the power to change your response to any of your issues. You've tackled heavier issues than this in your lifetime, correct? How did you get through those times?
A few questions to ask yourself (and then answer):
- What are your specific reasons for creating the life you have chosen for yourself? What do you value MOST, and does this new life support those values?
- Remind me - what is the complete VISION you have for your life and career? If I recall, you started kiokacoaching because you wanted to demonstrate the possibility of a life and career in accordance with who you REALLY are and what you REALLY love to do. So by putting yourself out there, are you aligned with your vision?
- Prior to this moment, when was the last time you felt overwhelmed? What were the circumstances and how did you handle the situation?
- Prior to this moment, what was the last "journey" you took when you did not know the answer? Were you able to learn from that situation? If so, did it make you a better or worse person for attempting to make the necessary change(s)?
- Although your mother's condition may seem outside of your control, what is one thing you want to do to manage the situation? If you can't think of anything, what would she want you to do?
- Although everything seems unstable at the moment, who can you call on to help re-establish faith in your foundation, and in yourself?
I know that is a lot to ask. So how about we just start with the one question that resonates the most with you. We can continue to work on the rest until your "foundation" feels steady once again. You got this - I know you do.
End - 2:09 a.m.
Note: I purposely did not answer my own questions here, as I have already revealed more than my fair share of mind/heart stuff. However you can use these questions and many other powerful coaching questions to address predicaments and perceived setbacks you face in your own life. We all get lost sometimes - it's good to know we can always find our way back when needed. I wish that for you just as much as I wish it for myself. Feel free to reply and let me know what you think. Until next time, namaste y'all.
kioka
